Note: This was originally posted on an old blog of mine over 2 years ago. Today I rediscovered it and felt like reposting it to my current blog. I hope you enjoy. (I took the liberty of doing some editing, mostly for grammatical reasons.)
Love is a choice. I have stated this in a previous blog post, and I still believe it to be true. We decide whether or not we are going to share our love with the people we are surrounded by. Whether that be our friends, co-workers, family, boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse. We can choose to be selfish or we can choose to die to ourselves in order to serve the people we love. That is our choice.
I have been reading a wonderful book called, ‘the Meaning of Marriage’ by Timothy Keller (it is also written by his wife, Kathy, in part) In this book he talks about acts of love, how we can love our partner, even when we don’t feel the love. Then by acting love towards them, our feelings are fueled, and we are somehow able to ‘feel’ the love again. When the feelings are lacking, we rely on our willful choice to still love the other person.
This also translates to our lives with God. We won’t always ‘feel’ God. We won’t always ‘feel’ like reading the Bible, but we do it as an act of love.
Because we love God, not so that he will love us, but because he already has loved us. Even before we loved him.
So we choose, consciously, willfully and with determination to show Him love, even when we don’t feel it. We do this by praying, not because we have to but because we want to talk to our Creator and show him our love. We do it by spending time in the word, not because we have to, but because we want to get to know Him more. We choose to seek him, not just when we feel like it, but even more so when we don’t feel like it, we decide to act out the love that we have for him.
And then in time, the Acts of Love will (most likely) bring back those warm feelings of nearness, love, and acceptance. All the things we ‘feel’ in his presence. Feelings are a fleeting thing, we can’t trust them. They will ebb and flow, just like feelings do. But we commit to walking hand in hand with God. Good and bad. And that it is where the most satisfying interactions are born. In relationship with God, and in relationship with each other.
The ultimate human example is most wondrously displayed in marriage. We let one other person into the inner courts and let them see all the dirty stuff. We decide to love them when we feel the warm and fuzzy stuff, when they do something sweet and we can see only how good they are.
But more importantly we decide to love them when they aren’t perfect. When they fail and need to have forgiveness extended to them. This is where the closest human thing to magic happens. Two people entering a covenant, not because they expect it to me easy all the time, but because they have decided that even when it’s not easy, they are still going to stick around and fight it out. A covenant relationship. Bound to succeed. An impossibility. Yet the truest reality.